Sheet Pan Buddha Bowls (Adaptation)

I was inspired to type up this recipe after realizing how many differences I had made from the source material. Original recipe found here, my (slightly altered) version below. Tastes good, fairly simple, takes about an hour.

Ingredients

For basic bowl

One cup dried quinoa
One yellow onion
Half a purple cabbage
One large sweet potato
16 ounces brussels sprouts
Two red potatoes
Olive oil
Some kind of seasoning (see below for recs.)

For optional dressing

2 tablespoons tahini (the runnier, the better)
Juice of one lemon
1 teaspoon maple syrup (the good stuff)
1 teaspoon dijon mustard

Other goodies to throw on top

Sriracha sauce
Soft boiled egg (or poached, if that's your scene)
Avocado
Cherry tomatoes

Instructions

Begin by setting your oven to 400 degrees. While it warms up, start chopping. I like to wedge my red potatoes, dice my sweet potatoes into bite-sized bits, halve the sprouts, wedge the onions, and wedge the red cabbage. Chop them how you like. If you're into it, carrots are also pretty tasty roasted in this.
Here's where you make a decision. Either toss allllll that deliciousness into one giant bowl and toss with olive oil and your seasonings OR you can do what I do and seperate the veggies and toss them individually, one group at a time. This is handy if you wanna make that sick ingredient gradient below. It's also handy if you want to season things differently.
You're probably thinking "Hey Lillie, how much seasoning do we use??? And what kind???" I dunno. Whatever tastes good to you. Basically you want all the veggies gently coated with a little oil and seasonings all around. Here's what I generally use:

Salt (OFC)
Pepper
Paprika
Garlic powder
A little cayenne
Onion powder maybe?
Oregano

It's the seasoning brigade, baby

Spray some big cookie sheets with some oil (oily baby), or foil them up. Or both. Throw them veggies on. I like to make it look pretty. Your choice. It's all going in the same place anyway.
Throw them in the oven, set it for 25 minutes. Congrats, the hardest part is done.

Roast the sprouts with the inside up for a good, sexy char

Yoink those cabbage wedges apart just a smidge
Oh hey what up, it's egg time. If you want soft-boiled eggs, keep reading. If you don't, then you're beyond help and should probably just move to the next step. Get a little saucepan and put about an inch of water in it. Cover, let it boil. Shouldn't take long. Once it's boiling, very carefully lower some eggs in there. I like to make a couple extra for leftovers, but generally one egg per bowl. Unless you're super into eggs, fucking weirdo. COVER THEM UP. So help you GOD if you don't cover that pot back up. Let them boil in there for some time. If you like very runny yolks and salmonella like me, six minutes is dope. Seven minutes is generally a good egg for everyone. Eight minutes if you don't want much yolk. Nine minutes if you're a little bitch. While those are bubbling, get an ice bath ready. Ice in a bowl. When your eggs have about a minute left, fill that bowl with water. After your timer dings, turn off the heat and slowly take the eggs out and put them in that ice bath. Leave them alone. They don't need you anymore. Let 'em cool down.

Inch of water, so help me god

boiling bois
Eggs are done. Wash your egg pot and use it again. Quinoa is up to bat! RINSE IT PLEASE. If you don't want pathetic quinoa, rinse it. Rinse it thoroughly. Then transfer it over to your pot. Generally speaking, you want a 1:2 ratio with quinoa:liquid. If you have broth, use that instead of water. Otherwise, one cup of quinoa, two cups of liquid. If you're using plain water throw some salt and olive oil in there too. Get that quinoa to a boil, cover, set low to simmer for about 25 minutes. Quinoa is persnickety, so check on it occasionally.

If you don't rinse your quinoa, I will come to your house and take your quinoa away because you don't deserve it anymore.
Around this time, the oven is gonna ding. When it dings, swap those two pans. They're gonna smell really good, but they're not done yet. Throw it in for another 25 minutes. Be patient. Get zen.
What on Earth can you possibly do now? Oh, I know. Make that dressing. Throw the lemon juice, tahini, syrup, and dijon in a little bowl or mug or whatever. Mix it. Fuck with the ratios. Decide you want more dijon and then oops accidentally add too much. Throw more ingredients in. Just make it nice and runny. Set aside, we're done with you, dressing.
Chop up some tomatoes, if you like those. Slices of avocado like they do at the poke place is also good. Your eggs are still chilling out, don't touch them. Have a drink while you wait for everything to come together. Make out with someone.
Ding! It's all done! Pull the veggies out of the oven, immediately shove a very hot brussels sprout in your mouth. Regret your choices. Think back at all the times your mother warned you away from a too-hot stove. You absolute fool. Ah, it's finally cooled off. Assemble your bowl: